My future wife!

Right now I'm listening to Marvin Gaye.  Thus, this blog post is going to be about my future wife.  Duh.

I think a lot about my future wife, probably due to never having had a girfriend.  I'm actually kind of stoked. 

Here's what I've decided about her:
1. She is going to love Jesus more than she loves me.
2. She's still going to love me a ton though.
3.  She's going to be beautiful, and when I say beautiful, I mean "If she's walking around in a garbage bag with holes cut in it for legs and arms, she's gonna be a stunner.''
4.  She's going to actually laugh at my jokes.  Boy, one-in-a-million, huh?
5. She'll be hilarious. 
6.  She has to balance out my social awkwardness, so that our overall average will be at least 7.5 on the Acone scale of awkwardness.  This means that she'll have to have at least 14 Acone points.
7.  She's going to be super cute. 
8.  Gorgeous.
9.  She has to be appreciative of 80s R&B Soul.  I won't know how to woo her otherwise.
10.  She'll watch sports with me, and we'll snuggle. 

But having said all that, I need to work on stuff myself, because I'm not ready at all for anything like marriage.  You can call me "15", but I just call myself "AHHH, I still don't have a job."  Here's the list of stuff that I want to be for my wife.

1.  I want to be a leader that she can trust to lead her in the right way. 
2.  I want to be able to bench press her body weight.  Is that too much to ask?
3.  I want to be a provider for her.  So that we can, like, eat.
4.  I want to be able to be a bit better of a hugger for her.  Ah well, we'll practice that in the context of marriage.
5.  I want to be totally Christ centered.  As in, "too busy being centered around Jesus to write a long blog post about her."
6.  I want to be able to know which colors match with what.  Because that could be important, I feel like.
7.  I want to be able to ask to see a wine-list without the waiter laughing at me.
8.  I want to rely on Christ everyday, so that the relationship isn't about us, but it's about Jesus.
9.  I want to know the Bible.  Really well.
10.  I want to resemble Bruce Wayne at least a little bit.

So there you go, that's what you get when listening to Marvin Gaye.  Until I get married, I'm going to become what I want to be so I'm ready.  And also, I'm going to be so pure, it'll be awesome.  Super hot abstinence.