Once upon a time, in a far away land, lived a family made up of a little boy named Danny, and a little girl named Zsa-Zsa. Yes, Zsa-Zsa. They were in a household in which their dad loved them very much, and they were always joyful and happy, playing basketball like life was perfect.
One day, they were watching Rocky, and Danny and Zsa-Zsa realized that they too wanted to become boxers so that one day they could be even stronger than their dad. They wanted to be the best boxers in the world, so obviously they moved to Philadelphia, where Rocky trained.
Once there, they quickly realized that not all of Philadelphia was a meat processing plant in which they could train, and they became quite disappointed. Trying to mask their sadness, Danny and Zsa-Zsa decided that their next best option was to be WWE fighters instead of what was shown in Rocky and Million Dollar Baby.
They got into a rhythm of loving WWE, and they soon forgot all about basketball at home, or their boxing dreams, and they started enjoying "fighting" in the WWE. They were making money, on pay-per-view, and their lives seemed just great.
But soon even their fighting days were gone, and they found themselves homeless, entertaining themselves by making toy boats out of thrown away newspapers and floating them down the torrent of water that was flowing down the gutters. Yeah, life had gone downhill.
But you see, their dad had never actually forgotten about their basketball dreams, or their boxing dreams, and remembered how much passion they had for those things, and how much he knew they enjoyed it. Mostly though, their dad just missed them. He was longing for the days where they would watch a movie together, or wrestle them until they were too tired to get up, lying on the floor giggling.
Often times, he would try to call them, or to hook them up with a facebook message. But they never responded. You see, they were quite content with their boat making, and they were getting good at it.
Finally, though, he sent Michael Jordan to convince the kids that the dad wanted them back, and to come back into the household and hang out with Jordan and the dad.
"No," they replied, "we're actually getting really good at making these little boats. See? Look at that one. Look at the sails and how fast it goes down the street."
The Air himself tried to convince them, but it wouldn't work. They could no longer imagine a land besides the paper boats, and were convinced that this "dad" that they heard of was just like a Nigerian prince who often emailed them looking for their bank account numbers.
Michael kept persisting however. One day he told them straight out, that there was more to life than paper boats, and that they could have a better life. Becoming defensive, they shook their heads in fury and screamed "Don't take us away from this life! You're a liar, and we don't want anything to do with you!"
And they stabbed poor Michael with the only weapon they could find, their scissors. And Michael Jordan died that day.
And three days later, Danny and Zsa-Zsa saw MJ playing basketball on a playground. "MJ," they said, "What the heck just happened. Why are you still alive?"
Michael was still alive because, let's be honest, we all know what's going on in this story already, of God. And because I couldn't think of a relevant thing that would be equated to someone dying and then raising to life. Because that doesn't really ever happen.
Michael explained to Danny and Zsa-Zsa that it was true. They had a dad, he existed, and he actually really liked them. He also explained that his Rolls-Royce Phantom was the only way to get out of the hood and to his dad. They jumped into the Rolls and headed towards their dads house.
There, they played a game of 2 on 2, which, of course, the dad and Michael Jordan won. But it was still a party. And the kids promised to never ever leave their father again. And everyone was very happy. And, if you haven't noticed, that was more than a story of Michael Jordan's only successful comeback in his life.
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