Hmm. Sitting here today, I've realized that I haven't posted a blog in quite some time. I'm not going to apologize, however, because I'm pretty sure that there aren't thousands of people who wait everyday for a blog from me and turn away disappointed every time. But, I wanted to stop being super stressed out for the 7 quizzes/tests/presentations I have tomorrow and do something that would make me feel happy, and more focused on what's more important than school.
Today I was talking with someone about Jesus/morality/ethics/emotions/whatever. It was cool. Unfortunately, I am quite a slow thinker and generally am able to put down my thoughts in writing better than I can while speaking.
Somehow, we started talking about Christianity, and I was emphasizing grace, something I can do in my sleep because I love the whole concept so much. I was talking about how you can't get by on works, and how Jesus came to bring grace so that we could have a relationship with Him. He's the atoning sacrifice, and he cleans us off better than anything that we could try to do. So I kept emphasizing grace.
And then she mentioned guilt and fear. She asked me why I would worship Jesus, and why I would go to church and do stuff like that, if it's not about works, and completely about grace. She said that it would seemingly be because of guilt that Jesus died on the cross, and now I have to pay Him back, or fear, that I was scared of what would happen if I didn't do anything. Maybe both.
Me being the quick thinker that I am stumbled off a couple of words about thankfulness. And she said that if someone gave her a really nice gift, she would feel guilty that that gift is so nice, and then out of that guilt, she would try and pay the person back. She thought maybe that's what I did too, because it seems crazy that someone would die for you, and you wouldn't feel guilty or insufficient for it or something like that.
And to be honest, I was like "whoa, is that the reason that I worship Jesus? Is it for fire insurance or out of guilt?" but then after like 3 minutes of hard-core brain action, I was kind of able to come up with an opinion.
I don't know about you, but I've gotten some pretty cool gifts in my life. The list includes T-ball things, iPods, cell phones, and Rambos. And I remember the point in my life when I was able to receive a gift and not feel guilty that the person spent money or time or energy to get it for me. All I knew was, "I can hit a ball really easily on this T-ball set." And maybe that's not a bad thing.
Christmas morning would consist of me opening a gift, maybe saying a quick thank you to my parents, and then opening the plastic box and trying to play with whatever it was. Maybe I never said thank you to my mom or my dad. Maybe the words never came out of my mouth. But in my little 4-year old brain, I was so thrilled.
My parents might not have been thanked, officially. But the best way to show someone that you like the gift and appreciate the giver is by using the gift, and playing with it, and enjoying it. That's when a parent knows that they hit jack-pot. When the kids eyes are glowing, and they play with the gift.
See, there's no way that as a 4 year old, I was able to get my parents something that they were remotely interested in. I didn't have the resources, I didn't know what they wanted, and while I could have attempted walking to the mall, things might not have worked out so well. All I could do was what I liked doing the best: playing with the toys, and appreciating what my parents got me.
Same goes with us. God gave His Son, who was also God, to come down and be sacrificed for us. Jesus was the atoning sacrifice that made a relationship with God available to everyone. No longer do we have to sacrifice, because Jesus was sacrificed. Now it's all about the grace of God, and while it's the grace of God alone, we as humans do something about that grace that we have received. We're changed after we experience that gift of true love.
And many times people try to pay God back. They work and they work and they work, and they try and they try and they try. They're so caught up in what they do good and what they do bad, that they forget that they're thanking God for grace so they don't have to be perfect. That's what guilty-grace looks like. Always trying to pay God back for what He's done for us.
Other people try doing works in fear that God's grace is not sufficient in their lives and that they need works if they're ever going to be fully saved. Now it's true that good things/works are a result of grace, but they are no means a means to grace. Both situations get frustrated and mad, because they're trying to be perfect, and yet they keep on failing.
But then there are those people who take grace for what it is: a gift. God didn't sacrifice His Son so that we would do something for Him, because we can't do much for Him at all. How could He expect to improve His perfection? He can't. He gave Jesus to us so that we could experience His love for us. "For God so LOVED the world." He loves us. That's just it. He loves us like a good father loves his kids. He doesn't get them gifts so that He could be repaid, He gets them gifts because He wants them to know that He loves them. And that's exactly what God has done. So, please don't try to earn your salvation. Please don't try to pay God back. Accept God's gift of grace as a gift, and worship God by using His gifts!
